I urgently need your help. I told my parents I was gay when I was 15. My dad flew into a rage and demanded I go to counselling and my mum cried, saying I just hadn’t found the right girl yet. My only ally during this time was my older sister who had gay friends and completely supported my sexuality. Now I am in my late twenties and my parents are completely accepting of me and we have a great relationship. The problem I have is that my sister has recently come out as gay and my parents are delighted and oh so understanding of her. No tears were shed, no threats of counselling or anything like that. Should I be rejoicing at the fact that my sister didn’t have to go through what I did or am I right to be annoyed about it??
Gary from Glasgow
It’s always wonderful news when a family has managed to wade through years of proverbiale crab-grass to reach the well-tilled fields of acceptance. Sure, you’re only human and it’s natural to feel jealous of your parent’s immediate acceptance of your sibling’s vaginal inclination but if I were you I’d just suck it up (I know fully that you’re perfectly capable of such an act) and be happy for your sister. Some families spend their entire lives separated by ignorance so do your best to be there for your sister. Maybe buy her some hiking boots or a coupon for a “lumberjack-vagina” class or something (I don’t know many lesbians).
Thank you so much for getting in touch with me this week. That’s certainly a dilemma you have there. My advice to you is that now is the time to throw the tantrum of all tantrums! You flounce on into that living room with your high heels on in front of the whole family as they watch X Factor and let rip! Tell them exactly how you feel, how rejected you felt when you came out. Fall to the ground slowly sliding down the arm of the couch with your mascara running down your face from the tears! Kick your legs and arms up in the air and off the floor shouting how it’s not fair and that it’s pure favouritism. As for your double crossing sister, clearly drunk on jealousy at the attention you got for coming out pretending to support you before “coming out herself” she’s not even a lesbian, she told me! She’ll be forced to admit her lies and from then on you’ll be at your parent’s mercy. Anything you want, it’s yours through fear of wrongfully upsetting you again and your sister will be forced to live in the loft where she belongs, feeding on scraps from a trough once a month. Happiness all round. You’re welcome.
Here’s Jordy Dee spilling some T! Coming out is a horrible, horrible experience, and my best advice to you and your sibling would be to go back in the closet and stay there. But on a serious note- the fact you and your sibling have both managed to share a personal part of yourselves is something to be proud of- the main word being PROUD. Here comes the more tricky part. You say the problem is the fact your parents haven’t shown the same negative treatment to your sister, much like your own experience, and that you’re annoyed. Well of course you’re annoyed, you’re a gay man. But surely you want your sister to be accepted like you are now, and use your experience as a starting point for educating your parents and preventing this for future generations? No? Oh well, I suggest if you don’t that you cancel your Netflix subscription so your sister can’t watch any more Orange is the New Black.